


Gomen Nasai

by IncandescentAntelope



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Coping, Coping Mechanisms, Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Non-Sexual Bondage, Post-Cup of China, Shibari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 14:06:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20694788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncandescentAntelope/pseuds/IncandescentAntelope
Summary: Yuuri has a rough day on the ice; he and Viktor soothe his anxiety in an unconventional way.





	Gomen Nasai

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has accompanying art! I wrote this for the Rope Burn zine and I collabbed with [ @ArtisticallyCrafty](https://twitter.com/artisticallyCr1) on this! The art is so beautiful, be sure to give her a bunch of love on Twitter!

Something was off, and Viktor could tell. Yuuri was flubbing his jumps, under rotating and spinning out. He'd already taken two pretty nasty falls. 

Something was on his mind. 

Something was always on his mind… and it was always just beyond Viktor's grasp. He knew that Yuuri didn't want to burden him with his thoughts and anxieties, but gods, did he want him to. Seeing the ache, seeing the pain behind his eyes and in the pallor of his skin, Viktor wanted to shoulder every burden in Yuuri's mind himself. He hadn't been sleeping. The walls at the inn were thin as paper, and Viktor could hear him up at all hours of the night, pacing or working on his laptop. Crying. 

“Yuuri!” Viktor called across the ice, snapping the younger man from his trance. “Would you come here for a moment, please?” 

_“Hai!”_ Yuuri returned, skating with long, wide strides to the barrier where Viktor had been observing. His skates flashed in the low light of Ice Castle, the clacking and dull scraping of his blades filling the massive room. “Yes, Viktor?” Yuuri said, out of breath with a splash of pink across his cheeks and the tip of his nose.

“What's on your mind? And please don't tell me 'nothing'.” A long and uncomfortable silence hung thick in the air between them. Yuuri dropped his eyes to his skates and pulled a trembling lower lip between his teeth. “Yuuri…” Viktor extended a gloved hand to cup the younger man's chin. “Talk to me.” He said softly as he tipped Yuuri's chin back to center.

“I… I'm sorry, Viktor.” 

He did that a lot. Apologizing for nothing. For existing. For being a burden. Apologizing for everything. Viktor saw the dark circles under his eyes, fingernails bitten to the quick. 

“Why are you sorry, Yuuri? Can you tell me?” Viktor softened his voice. After training with Yuuri for a few months, he'd started to get the hang of helping Yuuri through his anxious episodes. Especially after their exchange in the parking garage at the Cup of China. And the kiss. Things hadn't really been the same since that night. Viktor watched as Yuuri began to open up, to seek out a reassuring touch more often than before. To hold his hand under the table at dinner, to lean on his shoulder on the train.

“I-” Yuuri hiccupped, and a tear slid down his cheek. “I’m sorry I’m disappointing you. That you’re taking time away from your career to coach a nobody like me,” he squeaked, his throat tightening around the words in a way that sounded painful. 

“Yuuri,” Viktor said simply, opening his arms in a wide arc. “Do you really think I'd leave the ice if I didn't think coaching you was worth it?” Yuuri sank into the touch with a wet sigh, burying his face in Viktor’s shoulder. “Because I can’t imagine a better reason to take the season off than to coach you, Yuuri,” the Russian murmured, running his hand up and down the length of Yuuri’s spine, the younger man seeming to melt into the contact. 

“I’m so-”

“Shh. Don’t apologize. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.” Viktor interrupted him, carding his hand through Yuuri’s hair as his breaths eventually slowed. “Yuuri, do you want to go home? Rest is an important part of work too.”

Yuuri nodded, his mouth turning up into a smile. “Can we… will you tie me? Please?” he asked, his voice small and soft as he met Viktor’s eyes.

“Of course, Yuuri.” Viktor smiled too, the grin that split Yuuri’s face contagious and too sweet for words. “Of course.”

Yuuri had told Viktor about it a few weeks prior, in a conversation about his anxiety and his coping mechanisms; one of them in particular had piqued Viktor’s interest. He had softly asked Yuuri to explain, the Japanese skater sheepishly returning to the converted banquet room with a plastic tub full of soft rope, thin and silken between his fingertips.

“And it’s not a… sexual thing. It’s a comfort thing?” Viktor repeated, his voice pitching up like a question. 

“I- I don’t know why. I think it’s about the control. Letting someone else take the reins for a while, I guess. _Gomen nasai_, forget I mentioned it,” Yuuri muttered as he pulled the length of blue rope from Viktor’s hand. 

“No, no, no. I’m sorry, I’ve just… I’ve never heard of bondage being non-sexual. I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.” Viktor released the length as Yuuri’s eyes fell to the box of rope on Viktor’s bed, the noises of the inn gladly filling the empty space between them. “Yuuri.” Viktor said softly, calling his attention back to meet his eye. “Thank you for telling me that. And for trusting me enough to ask me to help. Show me how?” 

After a few awkward, fumbling attempts, Viktor managed to get the hang of it, of wrapping Yuuri up in a way that made him feel safe and comfortable, positively beaming with pride that Yuuri had let him in this way. 

Viktor smiled at the memory as he pulled the bin from under his bed. Yuuri had asked him to keep it, a gesture that made Viktor squeal. Yuuri trusted him with this. Yuuri settled at the foot of the bed, still wringing his hands and chewing on his lip. 

“What color today, Yuuri?” Viktor asked softly, “Any preference? Or is it dealer’s choice again?”

“_Ano… e to…_” Yuuri hummed as he considered the rainbow of colors he knew were lying in that box. “Dealer’s choice. Can’t decide,” he said over his shoulder, Viktor giggling happily as he pulled his favorite color, a brilliant aquamarine that he knew Yuuri favored too. It complimented his skin tone well. (And it matched Viktor’s eyes. But that was beside the point.)

“And how are you feeling today? Chest? Arms?” Viktor slid off the bed, the rope in hand. 

“J-just my arms. And… ah, Viktor?” the older man hummed gently as he knelt in front of Yuuri, quickly uncoiling the length and doubling it, finding the bite in preparation. He heard a calming breath pass Yuuri’s lips. “Can I wear your jacket again? I really liked it last time.” Viktor plucked the red and white jacket from the hook on the wall, handing it to Yuuri and not fighting the heart-shaped smile that grew as Yuuri shrugged out of his own faded hoodie and into Viktor’s. He absolutely adored the way Yuuri looked in his clothes, and he mooned over him as such.

“Comfy?” Viktor asked simply as Yuuri zipped up the jacket to mid-chest, a soft, happy sound echoing in Yuuri’s throat as he stretched out his arms, fingers interlaced. “Thank you for trusting me, Yuuri.”

Viktor looped the rope around Yuuri’s wrists, pulling them together tightly with deft fingers and soft touch, a gentle _“not too tight?”_ here, a _“good?”_ there as he wrapped the length around again, feeding the line through the loop he had just made. The brilliant shade of blue stood as a stark comparison to the crimson red of Yuuri’s borrowed jacket. 

“Does four loops sound good, Yuuri?” Viktor hummed as he tightened the second circle of rope, moving easily into the third, just below his elbow. Yuuri nodded with a smile.

“_Hai_. Thank you, Viktor,” he said, no louder than a whisper. Viktor could see the anxiety easing in the way Yuuri’s shoulders began to slump, the clench of his jaw softening. Viktor pulled the bind tight again, pinning Yuuri’s arms together in front of him. The tie was simple, something Yuuri had showed him that first night. Viktor had practiced on his own legs, playing with the right tension, laying the twisted rope over his own skin perfectly parallel, two lines never overlapping. Viktor tied it off with a snug slipknot, trailing the tail to Yuuri’s hand, so he could easily pull the bind away himself. The Russian beamed at his creation, admiring the pattern he had woven; that soft material wrapped around his wrists, twice crossed over his forearms, and the last loop wrapped snugly around his biceps.

“Test it?” Viktor asked, that cheek-splitting smile curling Yuuri’s lips as he pulled gently at the bind. “Good? Not too tight?” 

“It’s perfect. You’re getting really good at it. A lot better than Phichit was.” Yuuri hummed softly, the pitch of his voice had fallen as Viktor worked, another sign that he was coming down.

The prideful side of Viktor puffed his chest at the compliment, that he was _‘perfect.’_ The competitive side of him smirked that he was better at this than Yuuri’s best friend had been. And the side of Viktor that had fallen hopelessly, irrationally in love with his skater… he sighed happily and moved to stand, to help Yuuri move to his own room, as he usually did. Yuuri opened his mouth to speak, the words dying on his tongue as he clamped his lips shut again.

“Yuuri? What is it?” Viktor prodded gently, tucking a tuft of ebony hair behind his ear. Yuuri hesitated, worrying his lip between his teeth again. Before he had even thought to stop himself, Viktor found his thumb swiping over Yuuri’s lower lip, gently pulling it out. “You can tell me.”

“C-can I stay here tonight? With you?” Yuuri’s voice was small and soft as he screwed his eyes shut, Viktor grimaced at the thought that Yuuri thought he would say anything other than yes.

“Of course, Yuuri.” Viktor smiled and took a seat next to him on his bed. Yuuri wanted to stay with him. The Russian kept a soft smile on his cheeks as he fought the urge to squeal. “What do you usually do when you’re all wrapped up?”

Yuuri flushed, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “I usually watch a movie or something, just, something silly to get my mind off the… the everything.” Viktor hummed and tapped his finger against his lips thoughtfully, catching a glimpse of Yuuri's soft smile. 

“Let's watch a movie then, shall we?” Yuuri smiled properly then, the one that Viktor liked most; the smile that made his eyes crinkle at the outside edges, the one that made a tiny dimple appear in his left cheek. Viktor almost regretted putting Yuuri through that rigorous weight loss when the right one faded with the soft roundness of his cheeks. 

“I'd like that.” Yuuri answered simply, and Viktor sprang into action, leaping for his laptop and fluffing the pillows leaned at the head of the bed, helping Yuuri lean comfortably against the headboard. The Japanese man tucked his bound arms up against his chest as Viktor wrapped an arm carefully around his shoulders and Yuuri sighed happily into the gentle contact. 

Viktor didn’t remember what movie they watched. 

All he remembered was the soft, dancing sound of Yuuri's laugh as the last of his nervous energy bled out, the curve of his smile as he settled into the comforting bind and Viktor's touch. The credits rolled before Viktor noticed the movie had begun, and Yuuri was half asleep on his shoulder.

“Thank you,” Yuuri whispered, pressing a soft kiss at the jut of Viktor's jaw. 

“Of course.” Viktor breathed, not daring too large an exhale, should the moment run through his fingers like sand. 

“Victor?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Can I stay… _all_ night?”

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> Translations!  
Gomen nasai (Japanese): I’m sorry  
Hai (Japanese): yes  
Ano… e to… (Japanese): filler words like uh, um
> 
> Thanks for reading! Again, please go give ArtisticallyCrafty a bunch of love on Twitter and share her art! She's a lovely artist and I'm so happy I got to work with her on this! 
> 
> Leave kudos, a comment, or a question on my CuriousCat! 
> 
> Love you all!  
❤️ IA ❤️  
[Tumblr](https://incandescentantelope.tumblr.com) | [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/IAtheAuthor) | [ CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/IncandescentAntelope)


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